這是從尊者那裏學來的
最早開始的時候其實是一無所知
只知道要打坐、佈施
雖然常常聽到止觀、止觀，但卻完全沒想到觀
也因為這樣，被在打坐的時候，偶而產生的奇妙現象，欺騙許多次
像是夢中看見到未來發生的事
有的時候正確，有的時候根本沒發生
當時不懂的時候只懂得去做歸納
發現，在無所求的時候，多數是正確的
但是開始想要什麼的時候，通常就會是錯的
後來知道怎麼修毗婆奢那後
才知道原來之前都修錯了
心的天性就是活潑、好奇、浮動、貪玩
會去抓取各式各樣的心
在持戒的時候，沒有發現自己的貪、嗔、癡慢慢的增長
在佈施的時候，沒有發現自己的貪、嗔、癡慢慢的增長
在修定的時候，沒有發現自己的貪、嗔、癡慢慢的增長
這是一直到今年年初，才開始去認真地探究自己的身心
看到什麼的時候，開始忌妒了，就知道自己的貪念生起
多看幾次後，心就知道這樣玩只有帶來苦
心就不常常這樣玩了
遇到事情讓人煩躁的時候
看見煩躁的生起，知道自己的嗔念生起
多看幾次後，心就知道這樣玩只有帶來苦
心就不常常這樣玩了
看見想要去窺探其他的心
知道自己的貪念生起
多看幾次後，心就知道這樣玩只有帶來苦
心就不常常這樣玩了
也發現了不善心會激起不善心
善心會激起善心
善心也會激起不善心
不善心偶爾也會激起善心
同一個名色如此
名色之間也如此
知道錯的當下就對了
時間久了以後，並不會因此變得麻木不仁
想慈悲的時候還是可以慈悲
想喜悅的時候還是可以喜悅
而是開始學會怎麼去取捨，不執著
如果人生的目的是追求快樂
五欲帶來的刺激是一種快樂
禪定帶來的平靜是一種快樂
實觀帶來的寂滅是一種快樂
這都是快樂
差別只在於，不善心與善心的增長與否
是不是有觀察到真相
至於會選擇哪種快樂
這都是因緣
能做的就是在因上下功夫，如實觀
願各位幸福無煩惱
=======================================
This is something learned from the venerable teachers.
In the beginning, I really knew nothing.
I only knew to meditate and to give alms.
Though I often heard of samatha-vipassanā (tranquility and insight), I never actually considered insight (vipassanā).
Because of this, I was deceived many times by the strange experiences that occasionally arose during meditation—like seeing future events in dreams.
Sometimes they were accurate, and other times, they never happened.
At the time, without understanding, I could only try to summarize:
I found that when there was no craving or seeking, most visions were accurate.
But when I started wanting something, they were usually wrong.
Later, when I learned how to practice vipassanā,
I realized that I had been practicing incorrectly all along.
The nature of the mind is lively, curious, restless, and playful.
It grasps at all kinds of mental states.
While keeping the precepts, I didn’t notice my greed (lobha), hatred (dosa), and delusion (moha) slowly growing.
While giving alms, I didn’t notice my greed, hatred, and delusion slowly growing.
Even while practicing concentration (samādhi), I didn’t notice my greed, hatred, and delusion slowly growing.
It wasn’t until the beginning of this year that I seriously started investigating my body and mind.
When I saw something and began feeling jealous, I knew that my greed had arisen.
After seeing it several times, the mind realized that playing this game only brought suffering.
The mind no longer played that game as often.
When something made me agitated,
I saw the agitation arise and knew that my anger had arisen.
After seeing it several times, the mind realized that playing this game only brought suffering.
The mind no longer played that game as often.
When I saw the desire to probe into others’ minds,
I knew that my greed had arisen.
After seeing it several times, the mind realized that playing this game only brought suffering.
The mind no longer played that game as often.
I also discovered that unwholesome minds provoke unwholesome minds.
Wholesome minds provoke wholesome minds.
Wholesome minds can provoke unwholesome minds,
and unwholesome minds can sometimes provoke wholesome minds.
This is true within the same nāma-rūpa (mind-body) as well as between different nāma-rūpa.
The moment you know you are wrong is the moment you are right.
As time goes on, it doesn’t make you numb or indifferent.
When you want to be compassionate, you can still be compassionate.
When you want to feel joy, you can still feel joy.
The difference is that you begin to learn how to choose without attachment.
If the purpose of life is to pursue happiness:
The pleasures of the five sensual desires bring a form of happiness.
The tranquility of meditation brings a form of happiness.
The realization of cessation brings a form of happiness.
These are all forms of happiness.
The only difference is whether unwholesome or wholesome qualities are growing.
Whether or not you are observing the truth.
As for which kind of happiness you choose,
that depends on the conditions.
All we can do is work on the causes and observe things as they truly are.
May everyone be happy and free from suffering.
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